I feel like I have grown up a lot since my debut single, and I'm ready to leave that chapter of my life behind for good now.
In the very beginning "Japans Nr. 1 Idol" (*cringe*) was my goal, but my dreams have changed.
I can't see myself fit into the image of a cute, pure, forever young teenage girl anymore, especially music-wise.
Ever since I started I got a lot of feedback online saying "That's not you, what are you trying to be?!", and though I always felt like I had to brush it off as "just hate", I looked into my mirror one day and had to ask myself "Who the fuck are you?!".
I never thought I'd lose myself in the picture of a certain image I had to portray as much as I did, so I set out on a journey to find out who the hell I actually am. I haven't found that person yet, but I got a glimpse on what I had to do.
For now I want to sing my own songs. I want to tell my own stories in my own voice.
Not a computer-generated echo of someone elses idea of what I should have been.
I am not going to return to working for agencies, unless I am offered the freedom I gave myself with this project in return.
I heard a lot of agents complain about their clients in the past, saying they were too much of a diva, asking for things. Back then I would take their side and say "yeah, sure, I'll work for free".
By now I understand that there is nothing more valuable than creative freedom and being able to express yourself through the mediums of your choice.
I feel incredibly lucky and grateful for all of your support of my old self.
I couldn't have become who I am today if I didn't lose myself, yearning for the admiration of strangers.
But I want to live on as an artist, but another cardboard-cut-out of money-hungry companies.
If you chose to stick around, I'd like us to become friends and leave that distance between us to a different part of this story. I'm not above the people who support me, I am the exact same as you, starting over from scratch, dreaming big and falling every now and then.
And that's the best possible way we could go together.